10 Subtle Signs The Person You're With Loves You From The Depths Of Their Soul, According To Psychology
It's in the pauses and the presence.
Sjale | Canva Without a doubt, every relationship is unique, and generalizing love is a fool's journey. But regardless of how or where a couple met, or the issues they deal with, every person deserves to be happily loved to the depths of their soul. So, it's no surprise that one partner might question the health of their relationship when problems arise.
Feeling satisfied, loved, calm, content, and happy are all signs of a healthy relationship. Research from the American Psychological Association (APA) on the search for happiness in romantic relationships showed that relationship well-being and intimacy are derived from the experience and expression of happiness and love. Happiness cannot be separated from love when it comes to the quality of a relationship.
Here are ten subtle signs the person you're with loves you from the depths of their soul, according to psychology:
1. You do the things you love together, even when they're different
A relationship is healthy when partners support each other, even when they love different things. Your partner might be into baseball, while you don't enjoy sports. On the other hand, you may love watching reality television, while your partner can't stand it.
Despite not having the same interests, you attend that baseball game just as your partner sits next to you while you watch the latest episode of your show. Why? Even though couples who have a lot in common have higher levels of marital satisfaction, couples are just as happy when they share those hobbies, as shown by a 2013 APA study that examined the relationship between marital confidence, time spent together, and marital satisfaction.
2. You give each other space
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A healthy relationship doesn't mean doing everything together all the time. When this happens, it is an indication of an imbalance in the relationship and could be a glaring sign of codependency. Additionally, research from 2020 found that people who latch onto one another, or have an anxious attachment style, are lonelier and more stressed than people with a secure attachment style.
Each partner should be allowed the space to pursue their dreams and interests. If your partner wants to play golf on the weekends, while you prefer to go to brunch with your friends, you do your own thing separately. And it doesn't mean you love each other any less, it just means you have a life separate from one another.
The fulfillment from such freedom makes a loving couple feel even closer. It also opens up other possibilities for growth in life.
3. You make decisions together
Decision-making can cause conflicts in a relationship. Even when one partner is conservative and permissive, one-sided decision-making doesn't work. It's only when both partners can consult and evaluate issues together that the relationship is truly healthy.
This also means allowing compromises where one partner's wishes do not always win. After all, relationships are based on the concept of compromise, and coming to a decision both parties agree with is an indicator of a healthy partnership.
4. You experience true joy
It's interesting to see a couple fight and compete with each other while claiming they love one another. While a relationship cannot be all smiles all the time, an overall general lack of joy and happiness is a red flag that the relationship isn't as healthy as it seems.
A 2002 study found that "those with hypercompetitiveness have a strong desire to control their partners, maintain mistrustful feelings about them, and provide little emotional support to them." And while, of course, a little friendly competition among partners is just fine, overdoing it shows a lack of happiness.
Your relationship should have a baseline level of laughter and joy. This keeps a couple going, even when they're facing tough times in life.
5. You treat each other with kindness
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This means each partner in the relationship shows genuine care, sympathy, consideration, and appreciation of their mate. A relationship where partners are constantly pulling each other down cannot be healthy.
Treating each other with hate and contempt (spoken and unspoken) can spell a bleak future for any couple, whether they've been dating for a few months or married for years. Showing mutual love and respect for each other is a sign of a great partnership, one where empathy and compassion come first.
6. Your relationship is built on trust
Having trust for each other means believing in one another on all levels. But that's not a notion people just say about relationships to encourage couples to have trust; in fact, research published in 2013 said that people value trust as an indicator of vulnerability, fidelity, and emotional closeness in a relationship.
Couples who lack trust tend to hide things and keep secrets from each other. It can even seem like they are living a life separate from their partner, not sharing their true nature. The problem comes when one partner discovers the unfaithfulness of their companion, even if it's not related to cheating.
Having trust means knowing that your secrets and those of your partner are safe in each other's knowledge.
7. You engage in productive fights
Every couple must accept that they are human. Errors will occur, and disagreements will arise. Fights happen, and they are completely normal. It's not about the number of fights or what they are about, it's about how couples correct those mistakes when they happen and move past them.
The best way to move past them is by both partners aiming to solve whatever issue has arisen, or being solution-oriented. Results of a 2019 study of how couples handle conflict indicated that all issues were relatively minor and resolution depended on the spouses' gender, developmental stage, and the proportion of their time discussing certain topics.
Fights in relationships are not meant to end in victory. Instead, they should lead to finding common ground.
8. You build each other up
Couples who view the pursuits of each partner as meant for the good of both partners are right and healthy. On the other hand, couples who don't provide emotional support in times of need are not partners at all. And it could indicate that the relationship certainly isn't a productive one.
People in any relationship should work towards making their partners better people in life. This includes supporting each other in pursuing each partner's passion and providing a shoulder to cry on in times of need.
One of the biggest signs your love is strong and made to last is having a partner who is there for you no matter what, and makes it a point to lift you in whatever you choose to do.
9. You share future goals
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While no two people can be the same, relationships are built on the platform of shared goals and future aspirations. A couple cannot hope for future success when they disagree on the basics of their future together!
For example, couples should generally agree on where to live, where to work, how many children they should have (or if they even want to have children), where to invest, and so on. It's these five, ten, and fifteen-year plans that show just how solid your relationship is.
It's such agreements that enable people to grow in a relationship. Because without shared goals for the future, you can't expect the bond to remain.
10. You have mutual love and attraction
When a relationship is built on something other than love, attraction, and affection for each other, its future is at stake. Those are the most basic and natural things that bond people together in a relationship, after all.
A 2020 study showed how a quadruple framework of attraction, resonance or connection, trust, and respect is how love grows and dies, and variations of the framework affect the intensity of love. Attraction and mutual love are important in relationships, they often provide the motivational spark that kickstarts a romantic relationship. And while physical attraction is important, of course, there's also emotional and mental attraction as well.
Couples in strong relationships have all of the signs listed above, and it just goes to show how much they are meant to be together.
Donna Begg is an expert editor, researcher, and analyst affiliated with Consumer Health Digest, where she works with beauty and health experts.
